sexy meeh

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sakura card captor

miss kita

miss ko na crush ko hu hu hu

fave ko ulit

This is my fave korean actor RAIN

Very Funny

Sa Math Class...

Teacher: Banong, kung meron akong 1 piraso ng karne at hinati ko ito, ilang
piraso na?
Banong: 2 po mam!
Teacher: At kung hinati ko pa pareho?
Banong: 4 na piraso po!
Teacher: Hinati ko ulit.
Banong: 8 piraso po.
Teacher: Hinati ko pa.
Banong: 16 po mam.
Teacher: Hinati ko pa?
Banong: 32 piraso na po!
Teacher: Kung hinati ko ulit?
Banong: 64 po! (nakangiti)
Teacher: At hinati ko pa? 2 beses ko pang hinati?
Banong: Ay susmaryosep mam! GINILING na po! GINILING!!!


SA BAKERY
Pulubi: Palimos po ng cake.
Ale: Aba , sosyal ka ah! Namalimos ka lang, gusto mo pang cake.. eto pandesal!
Pulubi: Duh! Ate?! Bday ko kaya today?!?


ANAK: Tay mag-ingat kayo sa DANKTRAK!.
TATAY: ano ung danktrak?
ANAK: Yunn pong trak na 10 ang gulong na karga buhangin?
TATAY: Tanga inde danktrak un...TEN MILLER!!!


BOY: Wala akong kwentang anak para sa inyo! Lahat ng ginagawa ko puro mali ! Lagi nalang ako mali !!! Di 'nyo na ako mahal!
AMA: Nagkakamali ka anak?
BOY: Shet! Mali na naman ako!!!


Nanay: Ang lakas mo kumain pero di ka mautusan. Ang kapal mo!
Anak: Kapag yung baboy natin malakas kumain, natutuwa ka. Sino ba talaga ang anak mo, ako o ung baboy? Umayos ka nay! Wag ganun!


BF : May ibibigay akong gift sa iyo, pero hulaan mo muna!
GF: Sige, clue naman...
BF: Kailangan ito ng leeg mo.
GF: Kwintas?
BF: Hindi... PANGHILOD! SMILE!!!


JUDGE: Ano ba talaga nangyari?
ERAP: ? (di nagsasalita)
JUDGE: Sumagot ka sa tanong.
ERAP: Naman eh!!! Kala ko ba hearing lang to??? Bakit may speaking?


NARS: doc, bat tinanggihan nyo yung pasyente?
DR: alin, yung bakla?
NARS: opo. Baka sabihin namimili tayo, porke bading siya.
DR: ano naman raraspahin ko sa kanya?

FROG: what does my future hold?
FAIRY: you'll meet someone who wants to know everything about you.
FROG: great! Will I meet her in a party?
FAIRY: no. in biology class


Things you don't want to hear during your own surgery:
-san yung gunting na bago? Bat may kalawang to?
-10ml? may nakasurvive na ba dyan? Sabi ko 5ml lang!
-doc, ubos na po pala yung anesthesia.
-kanina pa bukas yung tiyan, asan yung pantahi?
-sunog! Sunog! Labas lahat!


inspiring quote of the day:
"hindi ako tamad. Hindi ko lang alam kung saan ko ibubuhos kasipagan ko."


'dear te, dear te, dear te!!!'
-sigaw ni Anabel Rama kay Lorin at Veniz (mga anak ni Rofa) habang
naglalaro ng tubig sa kanal.


TEACHER: okay class our lesson for today is science. What is science?
PEDRO: ako ma'am! Ako ma'am!
TEACHER: okay Pedro, what is science?
PEDRO: science is our lesson for today.


AMO: inday, paalisin mo nga yung pulubi sa labas ng bahay.
(nilabas ni Inday)
INDAY: off you go! Under no circumstance this house would relent to such
unabashed display of vagrant destitution!
PULUBI: oh! I'm so ashamed! Such a mansion of social climbing freaks!
(nakakuha na ng katapat si Inday!)
NOSEBLEED!!


BOB: nakakamagkano ka sa 1 araw?
PULUBI: nag-uumpisa kasi ako ng 8am. Ngayon 9am na. naka 80 na ko.
BOB: hindi din masama noh? Ano mabibili mo niyan?
PULUBI: pwede na tong isang espresso macchiato sa starbucks!


DOC: umubo ka!
PEDRO: ho! Ho! Ho!
DOC: ubo pa!
PEDRO: ho! Ho! Ho!
DOC: okay.
PEDRO: ano po ba sakit ko doc?
DOC: may ubo ka.


in a miss gay pageant:
HOST: how can we uplift our economy today even though we are under economic
crisis?
BAKLA: (namutla) mga bakla! Akala ko ba miss gay ito? Quizbee pala!


1. Trulalu.
2. eklavu
3. eklavu.
4. trulalu
5. eklavu
6. trulalu
7. trulalu.
8. eklavu
9. trulalu
10. trulalu
-batang bading nagsasagot ng true or false na quiz.


MEKANIKO: sir, hindi ko po naayos preno ng kotse niyo.
CUSTOMER: ha?! Pano yan?
MEKANIKO: nilakasan ko na lang po ang inyong busina! Happy trip na lang po!

Kung nag GAY LANGUAGE sana sila GMA at GARCI eh di walang SCAM!
GMA: hallow gracia!
GARCI: uy mother ever! Na chenilyn de kimberlyn ko na po yung mga chuva ek ek.
GMA: bonggacious! Eh yung mga chenes chenes, carry na ba?
GARCI: flatshoes! Winnie santos mama, wiz na wori eclavou na ever! Na chorva na!
GMA: ang tarushki! Maldita ka talaga vruha ka! Eh di windra na naman watashi?!
GARCI: anufi ate.
GMA: oshah ba.


Divorced father: anak pag-uwi mo bigay mo sa nanay mo itong cheke at sabihin mo 18 yrs old ka na, huling cheke na makukuha niya for child support tapos tignan mo kung ano ang expression ng face niya.
Anak: mom, sabi ni dad bigay ko daw sayo itong cheke, last support na niya ito sakin kasi 18 na ako. Pagkatapos tignan ko daw expression ng face mo.
Mom: sa susunod na pagbisita mo sa kanya paki sabi salamat sa suporta kahit di mo siya tatay! Pagkatapos tignan mo expression ng face niya!


BOY: dad, tulong naman sa assignment ko. Find the least common denominator daw.
DAD: ha? aba'y elementary pa lang ako eh hinahanap na nila yan ah! Aba'y di pa ba nila nakikita?

Anong sabi ng centipede nung may nakasalubong siyang isang centipede? "uy pare. Apir!apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!apir! apir!.... ......

BOY1: nakakakawa naman lola mo.
BOY2: bakit?
BOY1: nakasabay ko kasi magsimba nung isang araw, ubo ng ubo.
Pinagtitinginan nga ng tao.
BOY2: papansin lang yun!
BOY1: bakit?
BOY2: bago kasi blouse niya!

TEACHER: mga bata, alam niyo ba na ang bawat butil ng palay ay galing sa
dugo't pawis ng mga magsasaka?
MGA BATA: eeewwww!


STUDENT: ma'am, pagagalitan niyo po ba ako sa bagay na hindi ko naman
ginawa?
TEACHER: natural hindi.
STUDENT: good, di ko po ginawa assignment ko!

PARI: halika sa sulok
MADRE: bakit po?
PARI: sara mo pinto.
MADRE: wag po!
PARI: patayin mo ilaw!
MADRE: diyos ko po!
PARI: tamo rosary ko. Glow in the dark!

TITSER: bat ka na-late?
EDWARD: nawalan ho kasi ng 500 yung lalaki.
TITSER: tinulungan mo siyang maghanap?
EDWARD: hindi po, tinapakan ko lang hanggang umalis siya.

Sabi nung friend ko, nakakalaki daw ng tiyan ang beer. Kasi noon minsan
nalasing siya, nabuntis siya!

Sinoli ni Erap ang libro sa library.
ERAP: sobrang dami ng characters wala naman storya.
LIBRARIAN: kayo pala kumuha ng telephone directory namin!

JAIME ZOBEL DE AYALA: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 Spanish.
HENRY SY: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 Chinese.
LITO ATIENZA: 1/2 Hawaiian, 1/2 Polo.
MIKE ARROYO: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 pork.
JOHN OSMENA: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 Pinay.
PROSPERO PICHAY: 1/2 Unggoy, 1/2 gulay.
GMA: 1/2 ... only.

GF: magaling! At sino tong baby na nagtext sayo?
BF: ah eh kumpare ko yun! Lalake yun! Baby lang palayaw.
GF: oh eto replyan mo. Hindi daw kayo tuloy at may mens daw ang tarantado!


INA: anak, tawagan mo nga tatay mo sa celfon. Pauwiin mo dito.
[pagkatapos tawagan.]
ANAK: nay, babae po ang sumagot.
INA: lintik, sinasabi ko na nga ba, may tinatago yang tatay mo eh! Anong
sabi?
ANAK: 'you only have zero pesos in your account...' hindi ko na tinapos nay
mukhang matapobre.


nagbubungkal ng lupa si Erap para magtanim. Akala ng nakakita niloloko lang
siya dahil wala naman siyang tinatanim.
BANTAY: sir, wala naman kayong tinatanim ah.
ERAP: bobo! Seedless to!


ANAK: nay, ano po ba yung 10 commandments?
NANAY: yun yung sampung utos ng Diyos.
ANAK: mas makapangyarihan pa po pala kayo sa Diyos eh!
NANAY: bakit?
ANAK: ang dami niyong utos eh!


thought to ponder:
hindi kaya ang dahilan ng pagbaha sa panahon ni Noah ay pinutol niya lahat
ng puno para gumawa ng napaka laking arko? ano sa tingin mo?

PEDRO: niloko ko yung tindera kanina.
JUAN: paano mo naman niloko yung tindera?
PEDRO: nagpaload ako eh wala naman akong celfon.


kung totoo ang ' Darwin 's theory of evolution' na ang tao ay nagmula sa
unggoy, bakit may mga taong mukhang kabayo?


Si Erap nakabasag ng vase sa Museum, yung attendant nataranta.
ATTENDANT: naku sir, more than 500 years old na po yang vase.
ERAP: hay salamat. Akala ko bago.

Tomato Story

Tomato Story

A Jobless man applied for the position of 'office boy' at Microsoft. The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.

'You are employed' he said. Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start.

The man replied 'But I don't have a computer, neither an email'.

'I'm sorry', said the HR manager. If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job.'

The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate.
He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours,
he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times,
and returned home with $60.

The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled everyday.

Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US ...
He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance.

He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan.
When the conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email.
The man replied,'I don't have an email.'
The broker answered curiously, 'You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an e mail?!!' The man thought for a while and replied, 'Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!'

Moral of the story


Moral 1
Internet is not the solution to your life.

Moral 2
If you don't have I nternet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.

Moral 3
If you received this message by email,
you are closer to being a office boy/girl,than a millionaire..........



P.S - Do not forward this email back to me,
I am closing my email account & going to sell tomatoes!!!

What is a meantime girl

What's a Meantime Girl?

She's the one you call when you're bored because she makes you laugh. She's the one you talk to when you're feeling down because she's willing to lend an ear and be a friend. She's not the one you call when you need a date to your company's Christmas party, or to go dancing with on a Saturday night. She's the one you spend time with between girlfriends, before you find "The One".

You know, she's the one who you keep around in the meantime. She's not one of the guys, not a tomboy, but you don't look at her as a "real" woman, either. She's not bitchy enough, moody enough, or sexy enough to be seen in that light. She's too laid-back, too easily amused by the same things your male buddies are amused by. She's too understanding, too comfortable - she doesn't make you feel nervous or excited the way a "real" woman does.

But she's cool , and nice, and funny, and attractive enough that when you're lonely or horny and need intimate female companionship, she'll do just fine. You don't have to wine and dine her because she knows the real you already, and you don't have any facades to keep up, no pretenses to preserve.

You're not trying to get anything of substance out of her. She's not easy, but you know that she cares about you and is attracted to you, and that she'll give you the intimacy you need. And you know you don't have to explain yourself or the situation, that she'll be able to cope with the fact that this isn't the beginning of a relationship or that there's any possibility that you have any real romantic feelings for her.It won't bother her that you'll get up in the morning, put on your pants, say goodbye, and go on a date with the woman you've been mooning over for weeks who finally agreed to go out with you. She'll settle for a goodbye hug and a promise to call her and tell her how the date went. She's just so cool . . . why can't all women be like that?!

But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don't because to you, the situation between the two of you isn't important enough to merit any real thought), you know that it's really not fair. You know that although she would never say it, it hurts her to know that despite all her good points and all the fun you two have, you don't think she's good enough to spend any real time with.

Sure, it's mostly her fault, because she doesn't have to give in to your needs - she could play the hard-to-get bitch like the rest of them do, if she really wanted to. But you and she both know that she probably couldn't pull it off. Maybe she's too short, or a little overweight, or has a big birthmark on her forehead, or works at a factory. Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that men want (or think they want) in a woman.

So she remains forever the funny friend, the steadfast companion, the secret lover, and you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman. She doesn't captivate you with her beauty, or open doors with her smile. Mainly she blends in with the crowd. She's safe. She doesn't want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room. But she wants to turn someone's head. She wants to be special to someone, too.

We all do.

She has feelings. She has a heart. In fact, she probably has a bigger and better heart than any woman you've ever known because she's had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and she likes you anyway.

She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you've given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, she is.

I just want to let every guy know who's ever had the good fortune to have a Meantime Girl that we may be a lot of fun, but they cry, too. A lot.

And someday they will no longer be around.

Where does your beauty Lie?

Your Beauty lies
in Dreams. Day-dreamer, creative and forever lost in thoughts.

You're a dreamer, wanting more in your life than you have now. Though you a lot of your dreams never seem to leave your own mind.

You've created your own little world inside that head of yours and you're most beautiful when your mind is in the clouds with sparkles in your eyes. You'd rather be asleep than awake and people find it hard to have long conversations with you as you mind often wanders and you aren't a big fan of reality. You are long and almost child-like probably with a great love for Fantasy or Science Fiction. You're very creative and most likely love to write wonderful stories or draw and even sing, anything creative that you can use that vast imagination of yours. You're a bit of a puzzle to people love to wonder as to what is going in your mind.

EMO

ngiti

Minamasdan kita
Nang hindi mo alam
Pinapangarap kong ikaw ay akin
Mapupulang labi
At matinkad mong ngiti
Umaabot hanggang sa langit

Huwag ka lang titinginsa akin
At baka matunaw ang puso kong sabik

[Chorus]
Sa iyong ngiti ako'y nahuhumaling
At sa tuwing ikaw ay gagalaw
Ang mundo ko'y tumitigil
Para lang sayo
Ang awit ng aking puso
Sana'y mapansin mo rin
Ang lihim kong pagtingin

Minamahal kita ng di mo alam
Huwag ka sanang magagalit
Tinamaan yata talaga ang aking puso
Na dati akala ko'y manhid

Hindi pa rin makalapit
Inuunahan ng kaba sa aking dibdib

[Chorus]
Sa iyong ngiti ako'y nahuhumaling
At sa tuwing ikaw ay lalapit
Ang mundo ko'y tumitigil
Ang pangalan mo sinisigaw ng puso
Sana'y madama mo rin
Ang lihim kong pagtingin

Sa iyong ngiti ako'y nahuhumaling
(Sa iyong ngiti)
Sa tuwing ikaw ay gagalaw
Ang mundo ko'y tumitigil
Para lang sa'yo...
(Para lang sa'yo ang awit ng aking puso)
Sana ay mapansin mo rin...
Ang lihim kong pagtingin
Sa iyong ngiti...

Days of our lives

A great start for Monday
No obstacles for Tuesday
No stress for Wednesday
No worry for Thursday
Smile for Friday
Party for Saturday
Great Fun for Sunday

Best Friend

1.I've learned that there are many good friends around, but true best friends are hard to come by.
2.I've learned that sometimes you love a best friend more than a boyfriend.
3.I've learned that a best friend is more important than a boyfriend.
4.I've learned that you can do something or nothing with a best friend and still have the best time.
5.I've learned that a true friendship has many memories, both good and bad, but all important.
6.I've learned that sometimes the most used part of a best friend is the shoulder you cry on, and the shoulder you are willing to lend.
7.I've learned that when a best friend is happy, you find yourself happy too, even when it has nothing to do with you.
8.I've learned that a best friend's family soon feels like your own.
9.I've learned that the only one who truly understands is a true friend.
10.I've learned that nothing ever sounds stupid, funny, or unbelievable to a best friend, and you never feel stupid saying whatever it is.
11.I've learned that sometimes it feels like a best friend is the only one who will ever care about you and think you are beautiful in your own way.
12.I've learned that you always have that something extra to give to a best friend in need, and can count on that in return.
13.I've learned that your heart is forever touched by a true friend, no matter how things end up.
14.I've learned that when your heart has been broken, a best friend is the best band-aid for it.
15.I've learned that a best friend will call you in the middle of the night to talk without thinking, and it's OK.
16.I've learned that in many cases, a hug and a kind word from a best friend is the only thing that helps get you through the day.
17.I've learned that a best friend would stick up for you no matter what the consequences are.
18.I've learned that best friends can sing at the top of their lungs and not worry about singing the wrong words or being out of tune.
19.I've learned that best friends stay up all night and on the phone for hours talking without even realizing it.
20.I've learned that a best friend can tell the difference between a silly crush, and more than that.
21.I've learned that sometimes a best friend is all you have.
22.I've learned that sometimes you wonder how she knew, but then you realize that's just how close you are.
23.I've learned that when you are true best friends, everyone else knows it.
24.I've learned that, most importantly of all, best friends will always be best friends, no matter what is happening in their lives, where they are, or what they are doing. A best friend is irreplaceable. This is the most important thing I could have ever been taught by a best friend.

watchin' dvd all day

i will watch dvd (artificial beauty) all day.it's my rest day today.i love the story.its kinda funny,sayang hindi ko sya napanood sa ABS coz im busy during that time.

"Artificial Beauty" which I used to watch on those times I came home early. The lead actress who was then ugly, had a plastic surgery, which makes her look very different, true enough for her to land a modeling career. But it was not for fame that gives her the reason to do that. Its the want for attention and for someone to love her, take care of her. She wants to feel happy. She fall in love with a guy, who was then supposed to get married. The guy love him back. But as soon as the guy finds out the truth, she was then dumped. Too sad and painful

What does one do on a rainy day

1. eat all day
2. surf the net
3. watch dvd's all day
4. sleep all day
5. watch tv all day
6. make telebabad
7. text ng text
8. listen to the radio

Forget about me

Hmm
Whoaaa
Oohhh
Yeahh

You said it wasn't
Gonna be like
It was before
Then it happened again
Pushing me back
Out the door
Thought it would be
For real this time
Love me forget
About the signs
So now what do I do
Now, that I know
That we're through

Wish that I
Could move on
Can't let go
It's too strong
Just like that
And then you're gone
Is this how
You wanted it to be
Everything you had to say
Sent the tears
Right down my face
Now I'm trying to escape
The misery

[Chorus:]
Why don't you love me
The way I loved you
It feels so crazy
Cause I dunno
What I did to you
If you're gonna hurt me
Then do it quickly
Cause I'm tired of cryin'
If you don't wanna
Stick around
Then, baby
Forget about me

Too late, sorry
I didn't even
Have the chance
You said you were happy
Baby
I don't understand
Gave you everything
You asked for
And was ready
To give you a lot more
I would've given
The world
Right in the palm
Of your hand

Wish that I
Could move on
Can't let go
It's too strong
Just like that
And then you're gone
Is this how
You wanted it to be
Everything you had to say
Sent the tears
Right down my face
Now I'm trying to escape
The misery

[Chorus]

Boy
My heart was true
And that you can't deny
Don't be a fool
And walk away
From all the lies
It's up to you
Cause heaven knows
I've tried
Tell me
You're still in love
Yeahhhh
Ohh

[Chorus]

Forget about me
I really loved you...

Red Meal etc

ruth and i went to megamall,we ate xempre ever fave ni ruth palabok and a slice of cake...tas chikahan lang to the max.went home at 8pm.pagdating sa house,eto ka chat ko naman si donna,my long lost friend.imagine nawalan kami ng contact for almost 6 yrs,naka base na sya sa belgium...bongga di ba.i really miss her....i really miss our bonding moments,sleep over sa house, food trip,shopping together...i really my bestfriend rouschelma too...hay,iniwan nila ako dito sa pinas..